Posted by bar-abba on December 13, 1999 at 17:24:04:
Failing to fulfill all that befalls me, all that fits my
nature, all that serves His purpose...Failing to grasp all
that is set before me, and failing to set asideall that I've
taken up while groping around in the dark. "Stop it" is so
much easier in theory. "Do well" is a nice saying, but kind
of trite. Smiling is pointless unlessone is truely joyous,
as is every word uttered or written.
With all of this in mind, my noggin drifted with the wind.
Rain clouds stormed away as the sun set once again. The
gold and purple, red and orange all faded from black into blue.
A new thought...not so new..."...it won't be long, it can't
be...after all, what is long, when is wrong, how is strong,
where is far, and who is when is where?...if I could dig it,
I wouldn't ask. Today is good for me..."
Then someone said "shut your mouth until I tell you what to say"
and whenever he did, it was always pretty clear.
"you'd be a hypocrite to even utter those words" spoke another
voice from afar.
And still another voice cried forth, "Try harder, crazy white boy!
"What have you got to lose, but maybe a few hard feelings..."
Just then came an echo from distant realms within came thundering...
"How long will you allow them to badger you like this?"
And I stood and cried to the one before him, "SHUT UP!! I know that
"you SUCK, but do it somewhere else!" and those ones disappeared in
a vaccume, for a time.
Gray matter scraping accross bouncing around the skull. Desire says
explode. The key is breathing deep. Inhale. Hold it for a moment,
exhale. Flurries drifting listlessly with my mind through the frigid
and relentless air. There is comfort in knowing that the outside
atmosphere is compatable with inner feelings...emotion.
It's like that warped, mind-scraping chaos of a brainstorm inducing
a much needed walk...right in the middle of a full on thunderstorm...
and just as you are about to scream, (with the inside voice already
bellowing "I can't take it ANYMORE!!")...CRASH...BURSTs of light
and sound falling from the heavens...and all of a sudden...uh...
where am I? How did I get HERE ???