Posted by Jason on December 22, 1999 at 10:40:39:
Hi all,
I had a great talk last night with a relative about death (specifically, the death of my father). However macabre this seems, we touched on some interesting discussion. The topic was born in the dying embers of a previous topic regarding the book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (This is by no means an endorsement for this book - it merely came up in conversation). We discussed our observations regarding emotion and logic. It seems that we typically use either emotion or logic to answer those nagging, unanswerable questions in life. Well, in light of my recent loss, I have been asking many questions, and have found that emotion and logic fall short. My relative, Simon (all names have been changed to protect the ambiguous), was willing to dig deeper; so deeper, we dug.
My feeling is that logic can only take one so far. Emotion too, can carry you quite a distance, but eventually fails as well. What is at the end of the proverbial rope? What keeps you calm in the middle of the storm? We draw comfort from our reasoning and our emotion, but can either bring complete peace? I’m sure that any Christian reading this can see where I’m going, but Simon isn’t a Christian. So deeper, we dig.
“He that loveth not, knoweth not God, for God is love.” (I John 3:8, I think). I will make an attempt at one of those “zen koan” thingies (if I understand them correctly ;-):
God is Love, God is Spirit, Love is Spirit.
Love succeeds where logic fails. Love supports when emotions crumble. God is love. (Please note: I am aware I have taken a “logic” route in explaining my thoughts – this logic is only a vehicle to peer out of our shells into the spiritual. Also keep in mind, that this “window” is darkly tinted, so that the view is murky at best.) I am not implying that love is a replacement for Jesus – I am merely personifying love to focus on this facet of life through a microscope. Ultimately (in my mind), all roads point to Jesus or away from Him, and this “love” we discuss points to Him (in my mind).
Deeper, we dig…
Love is Spirit. When I heard the news about my dad, I went into shock. Some hours later, the concept really took hold, and I lost my grip. I experienced sorrow like never before. I was completely broken, and as much as I hate to say it, I lost sight of God. That is to say that I was focused completely on my loss and how much it sucked! God was there, though. His love was filling me even then, although I wasn’t looking directly at Him. All through this time, He comforts me, in spite of myself. Now *that’s* love!
God revealed something deeper. Those “emotions” I experienced were based on a much more meaningful foundation – my love for my father. What I mean is this – the love I feel for my father transcends emotion. The emotion was merely a “symptom” of my love. The love I have found (or actually, Love found me), is as ancient as it is wise – it was even the foundation for the ancient law given to the Jews; “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, mind, soul and strength… Love your neighbor as yourself… upon these two commandments hang all the laws and the prophets” (I apologize if I hacked that up too bad). Find this love (or actually, let it find you), and you begin to live. Reject this love, and you will surely die.
As I thought about the accident, I said to myself, “…everyone goes sometime…” I’ll just dig a hole and move on… Does that sound callous? Does not Jesus call us to “…let the dead bury their dead?” Did He not say that he had no mother, brothers, or family? I cannot make logical sense of this! I am not stating these examples to open a theological debate of what Jesus meant with each of these statements. My point is that logic can never replace love. Logic can, however, build up from love. It wasn’t the logic that brought me to a point of understanding, but I understand logic to have pointed me to the love. God’s love… He literally said, “peace, be still” to my swirling question marks and emphatic exclamation points. When that peace came, I knew love.
I have chosen to embrace this Love, and seek it, for it is one of the few glimpses I have been offered to see God. As one man told me, I must maximize these experiences – yearning for them, even. As broken as I felt, I knew God. The more my emotion and logic fail, the more available I am to God. This is brokenness. I will seek these moments of “failure” as much as I can. I cannot trust my flesh to reveal things of the Spirit. Last night, I was reading in Matthew, and I came across this scripture, “He that seeks to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will find it, for what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul? Or, what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Now I understand…
Jason