Posted by Bryon on March 22, 1999 at 21:35:58:
i am attempting to write the thoughts i think about the thoughts i once thought. sometimes i feel as though i can't do anything with a purpose. i sit and think the thoughts of a child who sees the result of the thoughts of his father. the child inside who so desperately wants to emerge from inside to outside the thoughts of a madman. i saw a man split in two and one man spoke the words that ring like a bell through me soul...the words of LIFE Himself, mocked as heso calmly states " i will always be with you, i will never leave you", and he was right...
...so far.
when i try to break the imposing shackle on my mind all it does is tighten. when i think it loosens it just snaps shut with a resounding gong. i think, "i'm free!" all the while still subject to the thought. even though the thought is of freedom, it still binds me to the subject, which is depravity. living in a world who says "hey, it's normal"...i feel abnormal. is this THE difference? is this life? what is abundance? where does it actually come from? these are the things that dwell, they don't just pass through my mind. i ask myself, what are you waiting for?
there are so many things this life altogether vain. vanity in the sight of LIGHT. this is the same light from which true LIFE comes. LIFE by death of something inside and the creation of another, that i call pain. are these the thoughts of a Godly man? is the death of "self" before the pain, or is it then that that death truly begins?
thoughs of aman who knows he doesn't know...