Re: Product Label Awards

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Comments:
: : : I received this from 2 different (unrelated) people recently, and found myself strangely comforted in my deep cynicism. These gems should definitely qualify for some sort of award... : : : Steven : : ~~I think calling it the Darwin Award is pretty good. Thus referring to "survival of the fittest". : : Enough said... : Instead of "the fittest" is it not actually a question of: Survival of the best able to adapt? : : : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * : : : Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: : : : On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. : : : (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) : : : On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. : : : (The shoplifter special!) : : : On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. : : : (and that would be how?) : : : On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. : : : (But it's *just* a suggestion!) : : : On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. : : : (printed on bottom of the box) (Too late! You lose!) : : : On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. : : : (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.) : : : On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. : : : (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?) : : : On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. : : : (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just : : : kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) : : : On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. : : : (One would hope!) : : : On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. : : : (Or pets! What's for dinner?) : : : On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. : : : (As opposed to use in outer space.) (Or underground?) : : : On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. : : : (Now I'm curious.) : : : On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. : : : (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning) : : : On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. : : : (DDDUUUHHH) : : : On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. : : : (What is this, a home castration kit?) : : : On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. : : : (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

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