Posted by Naked Roach Bath Girl on February 16, 2001 at 20:33:51:
Sitting down at the begining of this week, getting my 'priorities' in order by doing the ever notorious to-do list that supposedly helps me get through my week, I came to this conclusion, I am sick to death of following some stupid list of things I pressure myself into doing. Following a list of things that only a super human could accomplish without strain, all to fullfill some sort of anal retentive, sadistic person's (myself) unrealistic goals of a successful week. All the while completely setting myself up purposely to fail. So I decided to come up with a different type of list, one I know I can complete with ease. One I know isn't setting me up to fail....here it is:
MY LIST OF THINGS I DON'T HAVE TO DO:
1. Eat peas or beets (I hate them)
2. Drive on the wrong side of the road
3. Run 3 miles
4. Wake up early tomorrow
5. Make my bed
6. Do any more homework....ever
7. Be with children for 2 whole days....unless I WANT to be
8. Paperwork on the weekends
9. Lie naked in a bathtub full of roaches
10. Dive head first into a pool of chewing tobacco spit
11. Bite the head off of a live gopher.
12. Lick the inside rim of a toilet bowl.
13. Lick a cat's butt thoroughly
14. Drink a gallon of used hot-dog water
15. Lie on a bed of nails
16. Learn to play piano
17. Walk on hot coals
18. Run down the street naked (Thank God)
19. Jump out of an airplane
20. Hold my breath till my face turns blue
-- Wow, how good it feels to know I have been successful at not fulfilling any of the things on my list, yet I have still not failed... God is good!