Posted by John on February 26, 2001 at 06:42:50:
In Reply to: Re: When is it time? posted by giveaway boy on February 25, 2001 at 23:28:38:
: When is it simply just time to give up?
:
: This is how I feel alot. Bill
The time to give up is now. Obviously what you have been doing is not working so quit trying.
Now understand that giving up means just that. You have to let go of everything, including that little refuge of pain in which you have grown familiar. Strangely when pain is all you feel it can become quite comforting. By giving up you won't be striving for anything. You can simply sleep, eat, breathe. This is where God is waiting. Remember Elijah in the desert, distraught and begging for death. God appeared to him and told him first to sleep. He did not address the problems, only told him to rest. Then he woke him and told him to eat, for without proper nutrition the body cannot function, then he told him to rest some more. Finally when Elijah was calm and rested God was there waiting to reveal himself and his plan to Elijah. Trust me that you can not get away from this God. Many of us could testify to that fact. He has pursued us in His love relentlessly until at last we had no choice but to fall into it. I too was once where you are. Stading on the edge of a dark precipice trying desperately to steel my nerve enough to jump off into oblivion. My redemption came when I finally jumped because no sooner had my feet left the edge than my God caught my arm and pulled me to His chest. I was finally rescued from the prison which I had constructed in my own world when I had at long last quit trying to save it. All worlds will die, both those we create in our minds and perceptions and those we live in everyday. There is only one reality and this reality is the True God who came after me despite my attempts to throw him off or recreate him in my image. Since then i have seen countless worlds blow utterly away in the nuclear blast of calm Holy light. And every time one thing remains...the Lord of Spirits who held me close. So I say again... the only way to find your salvation is to abandon the conceptions and notions you have and quit trying... just exist. Let this same God blow everything you know away and hold you in the quiet peace which is his soul.
I am so madly in love with this being who holds me that words do not even suggest the intensity. St John of the Cross said it well in his work Dark Night of the Soul (which is also an awesome Lorena McKennet song). This is now my reality and I will allow every other to be destroyed until I am completely unified with my God.