Posted by John on March 27, 2001 at 13:32:04:
In Reply to: Letting off steam (kinda longish) posted by Jason on March 27, 2001 at 12:51:31:
I know how you feel...at least to an extent. There are certain people who despite my genuine efforts to be nice and friendly consistently rub me the wrong way in a very short period of time. It is a case much like you described where the individuals are very forward and inconsiderate and tend to invite themselves into anything (for those who see me regularly please don't assume it's you because it isn't). These tendencies have been noticed by others, although some aren't bothered by them.
Anyway, this is my opinion on the matter. While we do have to respect our brothers in Christ and the whole unity thing, I don't think that means we necessarily have to LIKE them all. Everyone has personality quirks that mean they may not like or be liked by everyone. While this doesn't make it any easier to deal with the problem, at least it lightens the load. I think that if we are open to it then God can change us if he sees fit, so that is how i leave it, "God I know you love them but I don't like them, I will avoid them, but if you want me to get over this then you will have to do it because it is beyond my control." and He has chosen to bring me beyond it, as some current friendships are a testament, but never has he forced me to endure what only makes me bitter and leads to hurt feelings or worse.
The same could be said of churches in general. Many people have differnt tastes and styles of worship. In an ideal world they would all merge, and it would be a non-issue, but as things are these people tend to split into groups that follow their tastes and there is nothing wrong with this. Of course this does not mean that the groups should be exclusive cliques, or think of one as better than the other, nor is it excuse to avoid coming togehter for certain things, but there is nothing wrong with people who like loud music to be in that environment and people who like to sit reverently to be in that environment. I'll probably get blasted for this as someone will read it that i am a clique-mongering divisionist, but that's nothing new.
: Howdy...
: Thanks in advance for putting up with whatever this is...
: I wonder if I am getting less tolerant as I grow older. I have begun to notice a trend that sometimes disturbs me, and it sometimes keeps me sane. There are two people in particular that have "helped" me become aware of this facet of myself: Lester and Wanda (names changed for reasons not publicly disclosed).
: Lester is lonely. Now don't get me wrong -- I don't feel sorry for him, but I recognize that he is lonely, which is why I spend time with him (that and the fact that he is quite clever at finding out my plans and inviting himself to join me). I have decided, though, that I don't like spending time with him, and I'm not going to get roped in again. What's that? You want examples? Well, you'll have to head to the next paragraph...
: One weekend, in the not-so-distant past, I decided that I was going to go out and scope some local clubs for potential work (I play in a band, and we are trying to play in more diverse locations). Lester asked if I had any plans for the evening and I told him about my plans. Yes, I was unenthusiastic, and perhaps a bit deadpan in my response, but this did not quell his excitement... "Why don't we hang out?!?" Ok, but I have certain places I need to go, etc., etc., etc. Not a problem...
: I made it home a bit later than expected to prepare for the evening -- I needed to grab some food, shower, dress -- the whole nine. Guess who knocked on my door as I was preparing my dinner? Lester. I was not the most pleasant host as I opened the door, and my guest noticed. I apologized and made up an excuse (yes, I lied -- which is another fascinating story, sort of), and then I invited him in. I finished up making dinner as he helped himself to setting up my playstation with more than a little difficulty. Without a word spoken between us, I set everything up for him... funny how his frustration and impatience reminded me of my 4 year old son (Lester is 26 - college grad - executive - enrolled in a master's program - was an officer in the Navy). After I "spanked" him in playstation hockey (hey, I'm not saying I'm the most mature person either, but at least I beat him!), I took a quick shower, and off we went. I guess it was assumed that we would be riding together (much like it was assumed that he would show up at my house). I chose to drive - Lester did offer.
: Ok, this is getting long.
: Basically, to sum up the night (and this increasingly boring narrative from the annals of my increasingly boring life), we met several friends at the place I wanted to go (initially by myself), it sucked (we were unanimous in this assessment), and we went to another place. This was a non-unanimous, 30-minute decision --- Lester's was the dissenting voice. He wanted to go the beach, because it was spring break and all the "hot girls" would be there. Luckily, his wife was at home watching his toddler, giving him the freedom to sow his wild oats. Well, during the entire time spent at the second club, Lester was whining, literally, about going to the beach. I am now officially finished.
: I'll have to address Wanda in installment two.
: I basically do not like Lester. I do not agree with his view on morality and/or ethics. Yet, I feel somewhat obligated to spend time with him, perhaps because it is the "Christian" thing to do. When I do spend time with him, though, I am irritable and short. Not the pristine image of Christ that I want to be. So my response to the situation is to follow the flow. When I feel I am leading myself into a place that I am "wrong," then it is time to turn the other way. If this means I only spend time with the Lesters of the world in a sanitary setting, then so be it. Of course, there are times when sanitary is long forgotten, and my motive is just to keep my head above the muck. Perhaps my big issue here is that I do not find it appealing to spend time with someone who is better at muck-swimming than I was. Once I learned to look for the safety rope, I put my swimming abilities behind...
: Either that or I should get a boat.
: Thanks, kids!
: Jason