Posted by maggie on July 13, 2001 at 16:27:07:
In Reply to: Re: annulment of a marriage posted by john on July 13, 2001 at 06:39:20:
: : : Could someone help me out with something that is confusing me very much. Pastor, perhaps? It is my understanding that divorce is not acknowledged in the Catholic faith. However it seems one or both parties of a marriage can loophole this by having their marriage annuled. My confusion is how could it possibled be sanctioned by the church when the marriage is on of over 25 years and there are children involved? And if both parties are not in agreement. ie: the husband wishes it so but the wife is totally against it. Please help me understnd how this could possibly be?
: :
: : This is always a very confusing and misunderstood topic. And, to be honest, most people who talk about it get it wrong, or they are responding out of an emotional reaction and not from a point of understanding what annulments truly are. I will say this much--having not studied it too much--an annulment is NOT a loophole. it is a serious investigation with pastoral concern for both parties invovled. the reasons there is a big to do about annulments is that the Catholics view marriage as more than just a contract. it is a very holy covenant within the church. it is called a sacrament. an annulment does not exist as a sort of catholic divorce alternative. the whole process is very complex and if you would like i can try to help you find some good websites on it. if you are hungry for the truth then the right info is out there. here is one book i can mention:
: : 100 ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS ON ANNULMENTS by Edward Peters, J.D., J.C.D.
how is one supposed to understant anything more than "so we weremarried for a quarter of century
and all you have to do is pretend to kiss the Pope's ring and Blammo...our marriage never esisted and the children produced of this marriage
are little more than bastards
and somehow this is righ?
: : sorry, i don't know more, but marriage, divorce and annulments are not part of my recent experience.
: : later, bill
:
: At great risk of being mispercieved, Bill you know far more than I about official business of the Catholic church. You also understand far more about the underlying reasons and intents than many priests. But I know from experience in ANY church or faith based organization there is often and likely a great disparity between what was intended and what is actually done. Truth is, and I don't have stats to back it up, but from general knowledge, many people use the annulment as a catholic alternative to divorce. This sounds like what is happening to our new puzzled and hurting friend. In that case all the explanations about it won't reconcile the discrepency and betrayal this person may be feeling.
: And to our puzzled friend. I apologize for assuming anything about your situation. It is entirely specualtion on my part based on your post. If I am in error please disregard anything I may have said as I am nothing more than a passionate fool with a big mouth. I do honestly sympathize deeply with this kind of rejection and pain, so whether it is yours or not, know that I will pray for whoever it is, God knows so I don't have to. Also know that you/they would be welcomed by me and my house should I ever meet you.