Re: Shoulder Tap...

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: : I'm convinced -- how do I 'carry that moment of lucidity?' -- perpetual stick-hitting? : You tell me and we'll both know. I think flooding our brain with indelible experience of real world rightly percieved things would help. but hitting isn't bad either. God deals with me this way. Some people say that God doesn't hurt us, ever, but that is one of the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Sometimes we need to be hurt to be healed, or to protect us from greater damage. That is why i like to have friends who will, and I give them permission to, once i trust their opinion, call me down, and hit me physically if necessary. I would rather get a bloody lip than a swelled head. : : You are into survival and the environment to remind yourself of this "primitive instinct" ??? Or is there something more? Survival of the spiritually fit... : I think the first is more true, but there are elements of the second. : : Have you ever thought of writing about your experiences? What do you take back, and what have you recognized, and how do you maintain that recognition? : Yes, I have a series of nature writings and one of prayers and spiritual musings. They have long been available under Dregs, and you can have a copy if you want. Email okay? I trust you'll respect the copyright if I sent it to you like that. : : I find it interesting how closely related instinct and emotion are. It seems that if we were to create a timeline, we would see that instinct happens, then emotion, and after the rush of the moment dies down, the intellectual analysis comes in to play (actually, the intellect is accessed by the instinct, but it seems to be an involuntary response). Jonvon mentioned an interest in "finding essence in the spaces between ordinary things" -- and it seems that our true individuality happens in these spaces, which is clearly visible in the stimulus/response model we are discussing. : : In responding to limits and limitations, I'll quote a line from "Bringing out the Dead" -- "I never asked you to suffer -- that was your idea." Those limitations exist in our minds exclusively. When I read your posts, sometimes I feel like I just got a good belly-scratching, so in that sense (perhaps close to the sense you are pointing to) I get it. There are also times when the touch needs to be a bit more forceful -- much like the stick-beatings you are apparently so fond of (joke!). Think of your other post (RE: Stepping in late in the game) where you wrote, "...I'm not the only one who feels sick at their own apathy..." -- this is a prime situation for a touch, because you have verbally/intellectually reached a definite point of uncertainty. I can assure you that regardless of how things look "day-to-day" we all gravitate to this place from time to time. I can also say that it is only trust in God and in our instincts (as He created them) that will pull us from this place when we go there. When you surround yourself with people who love you, that touch will come, just in the same sense that when your loved one is down, you are solid... and ultimately when I am weak, he is strong. : : The best way to keep yourself healthy is to keep the people around you healthy. : The hardest part for me is living unfragmented. I guess I learned it as a response to the requirements others place on us. I mean at work I am one person, at home another, with friends still another. Very few people get to see the way that these sides all relate to form me. to the outside it appears that i am in many different pieces. Even Bill, who knows alot about me has lately been surprised at my responses to certain things. He thought he had me figured to an extent, but he was missing large pieces. I guess it just takes time, and continual breaking to learn how to unite these pieces. : Lastly I'd like to add that we NEED to do things that we enjoy and that heal us. I don't mean the shallow things like going to movies and that. But the deep peace-giving activites that we really enjoy in our souls. And we need to share these with others who are interested as well. This will only draw us together in a natural and unforced way. It is parallel communication and it is the best way to get past walls that we place against each other because in the context of mutual activity the need to talk is lessened and the confrontational nature of talking, the feeling of being scrutinized if you will, is removed. As a musician you probably understand this more, but many of us aren't like that, and even music is different because it is such a common form of expression that it has developed as many pitfalls as conversation. : : Jason

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