Re: Contemplations from the heart

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: Wow! I see that some have already posted follow-ups to your post but, I wanted to comment first before reading them so forgive me if i inadvertantly repeat others comments. : First I want to say Bryon dear brother, you are DEAD ON! : These are the very things that I have been wrestling with myself for a few months. Strange and wonderful the way God works he moves churches all at once or speaks to a few in a small group or he works on one individual at a time. It was exciting for me to once again be excited about seeking God, but I didn't know where that would take me. The Lord knew. he also knew the first thing I had to do, to be able to recieve from Him was to make a drastic, unwanted, unpleasant, heart wrenching change in my life. Although I had been asking for it for a while, I realize now it wasn't until I was willing to make my sacrifice, that I could truly hear what He had to say to me. I know that the road ahead of me isn't going to be easy. My grief over my loss is fresh and it will be a while before I can really abide with Him, or maybe I just need to be patient with myself. I don't know. One thing is for sure, He has been my comfort every step. I might feel lonely and then He is there, all I have to do is call Him. : I am not offended at all. God rewards those who seek HIm with all their heart. Every person is different, and maybe this is just the first step to take to get closer to the true calling for your life. That is what I hope for myself and you. : i no longer am content to be an average "Christian" but I have to work with the talents God gave me and in the place where I am. So it's just baby steps for me now. : Something that was revealed to me also is how to ask for what I need and believe I will recieve it. : I am astonished how perfectly this works! Who knew? I could go into more detail, suffice it to say, I sometimes need to step outside myself and think...."Now wait because God maight have a better way, than what you think" : Anyway thank you for reading! I hope i didn't ramble too much! : -kat : : The last few months have been very contemplative for me. I have been wrestling with God over a few subjects. And I thought I would share the events with a few that might like to know or even share in the match. I’m pretty sure this will offend some and bring out the labels within others. Some people might say “who are you to tell me…”. That's the way it goes. It’s what has been on my heart and consuming my thought life…like it or not. At any rate, there have two main themes and a few offspring. The first of these would be the question asked of God by so many, "what is your will for my life". Every time I would ask that question it seemed that I would get a question in return. Sometimes it is "what did I tell Peter?". Sometimes it is "what are the two Greatest commandments?" and others it may be "what is the Great Commission?" or "what is the difference between the Goat and the Sheep, (this one really got me)?" A lot of times these questions didn't seem to make such sense so I would ask, "what is my ‘calling’, what is it that you would have me do while I am here?”. : : This would get the same response! The reason, I guess, this has been such a major brain clogger is because everyone always tries to mystify God and “his will” for our lives, sometimes even bringing in variables that not only have no answer but have the sole purpose of confusing the masses. Everywhere I turn it seems there is another trying to impress the idea that there are only a select few that have the ability to discern the will or desire of the Lord for our lives. Why? Isn’t it revealed in His Word? Yes, I thought, so I started to take a closer look. : : Everything in Scripture that I have seen points to one of two things: God, or God and his relationship with man. With all this relating going on, I thought, there has to be some concrete material to point me in the right direction! Well, there was. Guess where it was? Centered perfectly in the questions that were sent as my reply. : : Jesus told Peter to feed His sheep. Is that a calling? I would say so. Is it a calling to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind? I would say so. Is it a calling to love our neighbor? Or to give a glass of water to the one that asks? What about visiting Christ in prison? How about the sick and destitute in the hospitals around us? Is it a calling to lay down our lives for that of our brother? Is it a calling to go the extra mile? Do they all not tie into the same two things? : : I don’t exactly know where I’m going with this, but I just know I’m still sick of being average, the average churchgoer, or not, the average giver, the average bible reader, the average poster, the average intellect, the average trendy person, the average Joe, the average sponge, the average scum, the average weekday hater, the average attempt, average, average, average. Every time I express myself like this I feel like it will amount to something revelatory in my life. Everything is just average, just right, just lukewarm enough, just enough to “get by without being noticed”. : : I have said in the past “I want to know God”. How bad do I really want to know God? Is it enough to stand out? Is it enough to hurt? Is it enough to be hurt? Why do I think that everything has to exist a certain way? I have to go to work because I have to pay the bills. I have to shower because I don’t want to smell bad, (is that the real reason or is it because I don’t want to offend someone else’s sense of smell?). I have to… : : I was just thinking that if I could be like anyone in the bible, I would like to be like John the Baptist. I’m sure he didn’t smell good, or look professional, or handsome. I’m pretty sure he didn’t have to make absolutely sure he was politically correct, ever. He was on track. I want to be on track. I rejoice in the day I WILL SEE CHRIST FACE TO FACE AS JOHN THE BAPTIST DID. Christ said, “If you have seen me you have seen the Father. I want that. I don’t want music, computers, a job, a reputation, intellect, money, ease, health, pain, power, or anything else I can identify with. I want CHRIST JESUS. I read that John fell at His feet as though dead. I want that. I read that Uzziah fell at His feet as though dead, I want that. I want to cry ABBA, FATHER! Daddy! I want to hide in his secret place. I want to be the person in Psalm 91, hidden in the secret place, abiding under the shadow of the Almighty. : : I look at it all and know one thing. It is the calling, will, desire, longing or whatever you want to call it, of God that you seek him and love him and have a relationship with him. He will bring you home safely one day. Those who the Father has given the Son shall in no wise be taken away from Him. He is the faithful Sheppard. : : “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profits me nothing. Charity suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; Bears all things, believeth all things, hopes all things, endures all things. : : Charity never fails: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. : : For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly…but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abide faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

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