Posted by giveawayboy on October 07, 2001 at 08:13:21:
hey everyone,
i was thinking the other day about how we are all related. i was talking primarily about steve and cari.it started out by me talking to març about our times living together, and even before. also, joe video was talking to me about the old 'powersource' days. can you believe that? that was some cheesy stuff way back when. you know, back in the day of bucky diamond, etc. do you remember him? wow! i think he creates outfits for drag queens now. anyway, i was going over all our memories, or my memories of living with you all, and it occurred to me how you both really impacted my life...but i feel in different ways than maybe others....for me, although when i was a member of crossover i got great insight from steve's teaching, i didn't consider my primary relationship w him to be pastor/parishoner, but for me it was more about our common love of literature and devotional writing. i have enjoyed most our conversations in this area. this is like me dangling a little tangerine flavoured piece of licorice in front of steve saying, we can talk about these things any time. also, cari, she was the coolest 'big sister' i know. i felt so comfy w her all the time. going to ybor w her and al. going to concerts and such w her. even just simply things like grocery shopping which was always fun, and esp. memories of us in the house, us playing good music, and us having our friends over. cari was magical and i loved her very much, and still do, although i suck at contact, esp. wout a car. maybe when i live closer to usf (if she is still here--i hope so) i will see her more. i am really hoping to find a job/home situation closer to school since i plan to return there in a couple years. anyway, cari rocks. steve is a brilliant guy, very fast w his mind. he loves corn. i have never seen one man eat so much corn. and he scrapes the bowl with his fork. clink! clank! clink! clank! i might be trying to start a modern myth but like c.s. lewis says, in this case the myth is true. anyway, another thing i liked about steve was his movie-watching. he would watch anything. he has the ability to appreciate lots of good films and can put himself into the characters' frames of mind. steve's mind does that very well. he can see through other peoples' eyes sometimes. sometimes he gets it real wrong, but he'll tell you that too. for the most part he is a shrewd analyst. but steve also has a witty sense of humor, although at times i have wished i could remove the humor battery--but that's only because i have a MENTAL BLOCK with humor and i always feel way left out when he gets everyone into elaborate cycles of puns. It sort of gets complex and intricate and these webs are woven and everyone seems to be getting each others cute little flashy slices of wit but i am just so left in the dust. anyway, i like how steve learns everything about whatever he likes and then relates it to other things. i mean he could sit with you for 8 hours and talk to you about how a raccoon's eating habits can tell you something about the nature of our relationship w god. he could tell you how setting up a website has something to do with friendship. that's just steve's own unique cast. cari on the other hand is a strong 'mothering' type of figure. to me she is the 'older sister' or 'cool cousin' that alot of us never got. one thing i like about her is her ability to always be open to newcomers and to remember old friends and to tell old stories of times together. i am so glad that she and suze are pals. anyway, cari always remembers people, even ones that i have forgotten--and i'm pretty damn good at remembering. if cari is mad at you she can get pretty mad but her forgiveness is flawless. anyway, she is tops. she looks after her sheepies in a social sense. for the record--living with them was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life. i will count my years with them with a smile and lots of love. and although i went to the church where steve happened to be the pastor, my relationship w them was not a 'church' reltationship per se. our home life was always so laid back and cool. i never felt like there was any churchiness to it. we talked about church alot, since we all liked it, but there was no forced churchiness about our house. it was always real cool. i liked it on fridays when kids would come from out of town and crash in the living room on all these mattresses we had (i believe for bands). and i think one of the guys in mortal slept in my bed once, but it was after i didn't live with them anymore, but it's still neat to know that. i enjoyed going out late all the time. i enjoyed living in the two most unique bedrooms i ever had, the red room and lofthaven, florida. it was all real magic. my time with steve and cari ended when i needed to pursue more interior soul-searching stype stuff. i recall the time as i was almost ready to go into the catholic church and i had all kinds of soul-searching and spring-cleaning to do, lots of spiritual and mental inventory. even through this and through me eventually formally leaving crossover (i still went)steve and cari only showed me friendship and spiritual support. i am writing this to let them know i appreciate them, but also to let people know that they are not just friends because you go to their church. they are friends because they are real nice folks, even though they weren't too keen on BEFORE NIGHT FALLS. hehe. anyway, i was thinking about all these really great things, about how cari likes to have fun with her friends, and about steve always likes to spread knowledge and share information, trivia, etc. i was thinking about how much i loved them and then my thoughts started to branch out and i realized how living w them impacted my life up til the present. for instance, i lived with them when Win died. Win stayed with us prior to this. Win was living in my house so i can say that i have lived with Win. When he died I drove his car for a year or so. Because I owned his car I met Martha Bootle. Because I know Martha Bootle I was able to have some artwork placed on a Tshirt for a band (one of my desires)--Sagoh 24/7 I think. Still didn't get a shirt from them, so someone who knows them get me one. extra large please. Because of Steve and Cari I was introduced to Alex, to the Trempers, got to know so many folks. I might have met some of them anyway through other connections, but it was the Meigs that God used. oh yeah, i almost forgot, seeing Steve's friendship to Doug P. has given me a new and profound love for him. there is something demonstrated in that that makes me trust steve more, and makes me see his character more. this has touched me on a very deep and personal level. thanks steve! And here is the coolest. One of my dreams was one day to live with John Vaugahn. he and I had been friends before and we had both lived w another mutual friend named John, but not each other. It was like we were two ships passing in the night. Anyway, thanks to the Meigs bringing me back down from Georgia and moving me into their pad I got to live w John and that was a blast. You've heard our stories of his crazy antics. That guy has done more in the first half of his life than many do in an entire lifetime. He has had the greatest long-lasting effect on me than any man i know. his impact is under the skin. he truly is one of the best friends i ever had or will ever have. and i became a better person for having shared a few years living with him. and if i didn't stay in touch w john all those years i would not have the pleasure of knowing paula and roan now. paula is my 'sister' too. she is my beautiful ray of moonlight, in the cold wintry night of my life. when i need a boost, i can feel her there lending me support. i know sometimes i go into these weird outpourings, but that's o.k. i want to demonstrate how we are all connected. we are. i want to show you that you can take a day and sit down and reflect on people and just meditate on them and you can start putting together an elaborate puzzle. you can see the connections. and, by the way, don't be fooled into thinking that everything has to be rosy. i have had my struggles with steve, cari and john, but i chose to talk about the good. i chose to remember the good, reserving the right to mention how Steve clanks his spoon on the porcelain bowls late at night. ouch! clink! clank! clink again! but you might have someone you can start thinking about and just let those thoughts work there way through until you see the impact they leave, the line they leave on your soul. sit down, get quiet, and find those people and then you can thank god for them. clink! clank! clank again! damn! clink! clank!