more on John McGee

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: : I agree so much with what you said about yourself and in your comparison of yourself and Steve. I want you to know that there have been times when I wanted to hang up on you because I thought you were attacking me, but then I realized what was going on was a good thing. That you loved me enough to hurt me. Now, here's where I think we all need each other. I need my John McGee's who will shine that painful light on me once in awhile, and then I need my Terry Parmegianis who come along and hug me and tell me that everything's going to be O.K. I also need John McGee's in my life to propel me farther and cause me to want to be better and more authentic. Same with Steve. I need Steves who sometimes say things that I feel are irritating, although they are really the fountain of life. I also need Steves that come along and make goofy faces and claw at me and talk like some creature from the Dark Crystal and make me wonder exactly why God made them in the first place. I need both of those kinds of Steve in my life. Anyway, good comparison. : Bill : *********** : : : Thanks Bill. I'm not really worried about it. I've just been trying to balance the intent to build up with the uncompromising drive to tear apart illusions. Often this means that I end up tearing apart what people feel is their personality when in fact I'm only trying imperfectly to reflect the light onto their REAL person hiding behind the other junk. I am beginning to see that this is not so uncommon a quality in people. I know for a fact that Steve has had his experiences with this thing. It's hard to deal with when people choose to be offended and can't see past our flawed attempts at love. I guess I'm saying many things. One, I love Steve for never giving up, for not being afraid to offend, and for teaching me many things. (I don't think I've ever said that publicly). And also that I love others even though it often seems that I am insensitive and calloused. : : No grand point to that really, just felt like saying it. : : : It's a flaw of mine that i can't reconcile my verbal violence and my actual love for people. : : : : : That's O.K. John. Don't sweat it! : : :

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