Re: john's polarization and my day at church

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Comments:
: : I appreciate it, but I guarantee there are certain things that you would be disturbed to hear from someone, whether it is me or not. For example, and PLEASE don't think this is what I'm really thinking, but suppose I told you I wished my son was dead? Or that I was seriously attracted to YOUR son, in an inappropriate way? Or what if i just flipped out and went psycho violent on you. Are you really prepared to deal with this kind of dangerous truth? I'm not saying it can't be dealt with, but I don't believe you'd really be able to sit next to me the same way after that. : : No, your absolutely right. If you said those disturbing things though, I guess I would wonder if you were alright. I mean, if you were having those thoughts and didn't speak to pastor or some other personal mentor like figure first, I would have to assume you werent' in your right mind. Knowing myself, I would freak, maybe ask you if you were serious, if you said yes, then I would probably find some excuse to move away and as soon as I had the chance I would talk to my own version of the pastor/mentor. If you went psycho violent, well then somebody's heiny would be in the grinder and it wouldn't be mine pal! ; ) : Don't get me wrong if you were having inappropriate thoughts and you needed to talk to someone (and these thoughts didnt' directly involve me) It would be ok to talk to me about them, I really am not as fragile and chaste as I look. Not much shocks or surprises me anymore. I actually deal better with immediate crisis than impending doom, anyway. : : : and then even if you guys are prepared for it, there are others who may be nearby that couldn't handle it. I'm not condemning anyone for feeling uncomfortable, and we can't please everyone, but I just wanted to point out that I understand Bill's feelings. But maybe I'll give it a shot and we'll see the reaction. I'm willing to be the guinea pig if it will help relieve this for some people. : : You know in any social situation whether it's church or a keg party, there are those lines we know not to cross, it's knowing who with and where that makes us civilized. Bottom line, know who your friends are. Push the envelope if you must ( I wholeheartedly and with a bit of trembling, hope that you do) but be aware of your audience and above all, do it in love. You have my love and respect. : : : : actually i'd much rather hear how you are really doing. i'd rather you vomit on me or spit on my face. that way at the very least i'd know i was alive, even if just in that moment. because i would also know that you were alive. the energy would be unmistakable. : : : : come on out john mcgee. come on out bill. get angry, get schizophrenic, get whatever. its a good thing. : : : : : : : : : : for a long time now it has really bothered me that even in a setting where people are free to be themselves, at least in comparision with other settings, there are certain things that are just taboo. We say they aren't, but I guarantee we would be upset if they were violated. I think this contributes to the schizmed feeling and forces people to become liars. I don't know how to overcome it. I myself sometimes feel like I will explode if another person asks me how i am doing because I can't answer with the truth at that particular time, nor would they really want to hear it anyway. : : : : : exactly! : : : john, next time I see you I am going to ask you a question and you better answer me truthfully. : : : I will know if you are not being truthful (you know, lying). You can say anything you want to me, but no lying. You cannot however regurgitate or expel saliva on me, that will get you a fat lip.

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