Posted by kat on August 24, 2002 at 15:43:13:
In Reply to: Re: the sting of being dead posted by Mister Metal on August 24, 2002 at 09:29:50:
: :
: : I respect your take on the matter...but I think we will disagree with each other on this issue.
: : Let me put it in a little perspective for ya, and even if you don't agree, it may show where I am coming from:
: : When I was getting a divorce, my wife ended up in such a bad state that she was hospitalized for suicidal depression and put on suicide watch for a full week. I actually was there with her, and tried to help her through things. She was able to get stablized and get back out to life, but for the next 6 months, we had to cateful with her. There were some parts of her life that would drive her back to that state. And she was living alone with noone to watch over her. Frankly, had I gone up to her with total honesty, I could have driven her right back to a suicidal state very quickly.
: : Had I done that, she would now be dead.
: : Instead, over the last few years, she has worked through her problems, and is just now at a point of stability where we can get back to that level of honesty.
: : So, total honesty is not only always the right thing, it can hurt people beyond repair.
: : I hope that you either never get to a state like that with someone, or that you recognize it when you do, because in cases like this, honesty doesn't help, it doesn't make them stronger or better, it kills them.
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: well eh..maybe its not honesty i think that would "kill" her...it just may have been that there are dark things that are not seen that plague her mind..its not honesty that kills...lies dont save..but yeah..you and i are gonna disagree but i still will state what i have to say....lies dont save...hey..i cannot and will not agree on that one..if they did...then hey..i am skerewed..for real....cuz i dont practice that lies save ideal..
I don't think that Bob is saying "lies save" I think he is just demonstrating that total honesty is sometimes not appropriate or healthy. You just don't disclose everything to everybody. If you do you are setting yourself up for trouble. You can seriously hurt people with honest information as Bob points out. You can make yourself unnecessarily vulnerable by disclosing things and feelings about yourself. To do this is to not use the brain God gave you. No where does scripture say that you have to be totally honest at all times. Of course you are not to lie, but to just be real with everyone all the time is not wise. The only person you need to be totally honest with is yourself.