Posted by clover on September 15, 2002 at 14:00:31:
i'm sorry. i haven't posted in awhile, but i have to rant a bit.
most of you know my history in the church, or basically my lack thereof. it has taken me twenty three years to find a church where i feel welcomed and at home, and most importantly loved. the fact that i've managed to stick with the whole "church thing" for over a year is a feat in itself. thru' so many of you, and especially pastor steve, i have learned of god's love for me. i have finally learned that it doesn't matter how screwed up my life was and how much trouble i was into (and believe me, it was a lot), god loved/loves me no matter what. i have been forgiven for my sins and accepted for who i am.
Isaiah 54:4 "Fear not, you will no longer live in shame. The shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood will be remembered no more, for your Creator will be your husband."
now if this is said about our past, could it not also be used in the present? why do people feel that they have to point the finger and scorn for decisions they don't agree with? this is the very thing that made me leary of christians to begin with. it's that self righteous, holier-than-thou attitude that pushes me away. i know everyone has a right to their own opinions, and i know you don't have to agree with me. i respect that. but, does that give someone the right to shame me? christ is loving, forgiving and accepting of ALL people. and if we are made in the image of christ, should we not also take up these values?
Isaiah 51:7-8 "Do not be afraid of peopl'es scorn or their slanderous talk, For the moth will destory them as it destroys clothing....But my righteousness will last forever."
i'm seriously trying to take this to heart, but am having trouble. those of you that know me, know that i'm not one to throw out scripture. but i've been hurt by a brother, who i know was trying to be good to me. however, words scar and delievery has everything to do with how deep that scar is. i have still only been in the church for a year, and when people start telling me that i'm wrong in how i live my life, they will be pushing me away quite quickly. please, don't all of you take offense to this post. i love you all, you have given me strength and helped me grow in so many ways you'll never know. please pray that i get over this. i'd hate to see my weakness cause me to stray from the church, it's taken me so long to come so far and i'd hate to see myself slip.
i do love you.