Posted by jeannie on October 17, 2002 at 08:59:18:
as always bill, you and i seem to be pondering the same kinds of things at the same time. i was just thinking about an experience i had years ago before i read your post on unburying our christian traditions. the experience taught me several lessons, including a REALLY BIG repeat lesson on the difference between "like" and "love"...
many years ago bert and i traveled up to cleveland (our home town) to visit his oldest brother tim and his family. we met them first at a campground where they were staying with some friends before all going back to their home. tim and his wife annette and their children were part of a christian community in their area which showed their faith to the outside community in several ways: the women all dressed similarly, in that they wore no makeup, let their hair grow naturally and never cut or colored it, wore no pants or shorts or bathing suits (even in summertime at the beach), only long skirts and long-sleeved, high-collared blouses. the men all wore their hair short and dressed in simple button-up shirts, tucked into dark trousers. when we left the campground and went back to tim's house, we couldn't help but notice how sparsely it was furnished, with only the most basic furniture in the shaker stye, no tv, handmade curtains at the windows, (made by annette) and pictures and statues EVERYWHERE of christ and the blessed virgin mother mary. the men all had huge gardens that were very well tended, and regularly hunted (with bows and arrows) for their meat, and the women canned all kinds of produce in mason jars. they bought flour, cheese, peanut butter, powdered milk, etc. in bulk and made everything from scratch. while we were there, we were invited to their friend's homes and discovered there was DEFINITELY a common similarity in decor, etc. etc. they took care of mentally handicapped people in their homes IN ADDITION TO the family minimum of about 5 children. the children weren't all their biological children, either...some were foster children and some were adopted by the families. the diapers were all HAND-WASHED and no huggies or pampers were ever used. before, during and after dinner the wine really flowed and i remember thinking to myself, "how am i ever going to get through this evening?" because i've never been much of a drinker. thankfully, after dinner the women washed all the dishes and pots and pans by hand (which took about two hours) while the men sat in the living room talking and drinking more wine. at one house i bathed about six kids one night while the rest of the women kept doing the dishes. obviously, none of the women could possibly work outside the home in addition to ALL THEIR OTHER DUTIES, so the men had really good jobs that paid well to support all the kids. at the time, bert and i were totally blown away by the whole thing! needless to say, we "stuck out like sore thumbs" amongst the rest of them.
BUT HERE'S WHAT I REMEMBER MOST CLEARLY: these people LOVED christ AND each other AND US even through our NUMEROUS differences, and regardless of the fact that we didn't LIKE or approve of each other very much. we found our common ground in christ.
in years since, their community has dispersed and annette doesn't can or sew curtains by hand anymore. she wears makeup and has become, in my opinion, a pretty spiffy dresser! tim doesn't have a garden anymore and rents movies, and they shop at the local giant eagle grocery store. it's become a lot easier for tim and annette and bert and i to LIKE each other and we even enjoy being together! i've become a lot more tolerant of people of all kinds and have even learned to appreciate the differences between us.
as bill has pointed out, ALL THESE THINGS were at one time christian traditions that have been buried over the years. regardless of what we may think of a person's appearance, speech, music library, house, lifestyle, or ethnic heritage, we need to be aware that this stuff is all superficial and they probably think we're pretty unusual, too! we all want to be loved and accepted by others, because as someone said recently, we're pack animals by nature and join whatever pack makes us most comfortable. there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be LIKED and accepted by others...the only danger lies in when we let that be our focus instead of knowing that our heavenly father ALWAYS LOVES and accepts us. there's always a reason why people think and behave the way they do and it's important to keep in mind that we're part of the BODY OF CHRIST, which has many different members, each at different points along the way in this journey of life.
peace and love to you all! jeannie