Posted by jeannie on October 23, 2002 at 07:37:12:
In Reply to: Secondary Invasion - Report posted by Bob - the Alien on October 22, 2002 at 21:03:32:
hmmmm. very insightful comments Dave-Bob!
1. i've found this to be true also. maybe because (generally speaking, of course) the early 20's are such a transitional time in life. alot of people tend to be really cocky, arrogant, know-it-alls in their 20's which results in them being highly offensive to others, ESPECIALLY family members who fondly remember when they were cute little kids.
2. also very true! in my own experience, i've had a lifelong struggle with my parents because of many, many reasons. their hate for bert and i escalated so much at one point that my parents hired a hit man from the mob to kill him. i'm happy (and relieved) now to say that years later, our relationship is progressively healing and my parents are beginning to actually feel a sort of fondness for bert and i.
3. again, i've found this to be true, also: i don't think most of us realize just how much the people we surround ourselves with affect us. the impact we have on each other is enormous, in both positive or negative ways. although some would disagree with me on this, it's my opinion that we need to be observant of how our relationships with others affect us. does knowing this person enrich my life or are they a negative influence on me? we're all products of so many things in life.
4. i wish i could say i've had that experience, but maybe it's just not time for me yet. my background and home town still hold so many painful memories for me that although i've forgiven and moved on, i just don't want to be reminded of my past there. i feel at home here in my little dunedin!
5. finally, life's all about change..."sometimes a little change'll do ya good!"
: Here are just a few lessons learned from this trip:
: 1) As family members get past their early twenties, they suddenly start caring about you again and want you to live close to them. I had more requests to move to the Midwest in the last week than I have had in years.
: 2) Time really can heal all wounds, if you let it. 2 people who I thought never to be friends with again are back in my life, and I am feeling positive about both of them. (See the next item for more info)
: 3) Be careful of surrounding yourself with people who all share similar world views. It can trap you. I normally hang around people who are positive, but cyncial. This lets us gets away with a lot of things because we can just use cynicism as an excuse to not do something. My old college friends are not cynical. They forced me to call someone who I was terrified to call for years. But I did call. And she was glad to hear from me, which was a pleasant surprise. And we spent 5 hours last night talking and eating pad thai. And one of the most important people from my past is suddenly in my life again. All thanks to letting old friends guide me through the world using their world view for a while.
: 4) Your background has a greater resonance with your personality than I imagined. Obviously, people with negative experiences are greatly impacted. But the positive ones are just as powerful, although often much more subtle. I went back to these places where I grew up, and felt right at home. It all just worked. I may have to admit that I truly do belong in the small college midwest towns.
: 5) My tenacity in clinging to my life in Denver is misplaced. I am now open to leaving this city.
: With Love,
: Bob