Posted by Xavier on December 08, 2002 at 00:12:08:
In Reply to: frustrated... posted by Mister Metal on December 07, 2002 at 07:36:47:
: i just have had GOD tuggin at my heart..and distractions..people wantin to hang out...and simply not knowin what to do with it has left me really upset and not knowing where to go..
: not havin any clue where to go from here..for years and years i have tried to get this GOD thing worked out..and i just seem to mess things up everytime..
: i get distracted...everyone wants to hang out..or my stinkin flesh wants to do what i dont want it to and doesnt want to submit to GOD..it just wants to wreck havoc..and i am tryin to tune in to the spiritual..but dammit its hard by myself..i dont know if even expecting anything is right..i just cant do this on my own..i cant..i am dying here and have no idea what to do or where to go from here..i guess what i am askin for is prayer if nothing else..i am really really discouraged..
: i am a failure..i have been irreverent..irresponsible..and insensitive to GOD's call on my live and his leading..
: i just feel like i have been a disgrace to his name..
Metal.
I have yet to read PS's response to you I just wanted to throw down my few cents on this. I can relate almost completely to how you have stated you feel. I feel times when I look to God then, in a moments glance look back towards my flesh only to look up again and years have passed. I wonder if my prayers and my choices are " really " doing something. I feel lame and not worthy of the lord's gifts upon me.
What helps me is that right when I am at a total self pity party " it hits me " The realization the knowing that I am wrong , the getting out of my shell, off my pedastil, out of my comfort zone out of my flesh and going one on one with him. In opening myself I am humbling myself to him. I know that I am SO NOT WORTHY, though in him I am and you ARE. How can you be a disgrace you are seeking him. You are doing it now. Gosh that is cool.
Hmm I just reread what I wrote does that make any sense to you. I have a little problem expressing my point sometimes. Basically man none of us are perfect and we all falter, though fellowshipping together and , humbling ourselves daily beings us closer to him.
Hmm . . Anywho you are in my prayers Man of Metal.