Posted by giveawayboy on December 22, 2002 at 21:29:14:
In Reply to: plug screw up posted by giveawayboy on December 22, 2002 at 14:13:07:
so, i ended up going to some websites about how to make beef and broccoli and i wrote down all the ingredients so i could go to the store to get some things. i also went to mass, but by the time i got to mass it was close to the end. but at least i tried. i was at least there for the last half of mass although i missed the Gospels. Anyway, I went to the store next and on the way I hit a bump in the road that was small and almost undetectable and my bike crashed in the left lane w oncoming traffic and i had to at once deal w the pain of the crash, the awareness of the pain in my knee, arm and ribs, and at the same time pull my bike out of the path of oncoming traffic. the whole day was just not working. i lumbered through the grocery store like a zombie and kept wondering if my knee would be black and blue and swollen when I got home. the thought of it scared me, but i kept thinking of the guys in JACKASS and i felt a bit better. Also, thinking Alex Wilbourne was here today made me feel more rugged I guess.
By the time i was on my way home--dizzy the whole way, lugging a bunch of breakables, i realized that i was JOYFUL. it was the most amazing thing. i realized that everything was GOOD. i passed by at least two nativity scenes on my way home, one at a Catholic church and one at a Lutheran church. It was really neat. I got home and made the absolute worst beef and broccoli I have ever had. Well, at least there is room for improvement now and at least I have the ingredients. Then I finished THE RAMAYANA, which I have been reading for about two months now (oh, did I mention the Hare Krishnas came by last night) and I started my annual reading of A CHRISTMAS CAROL by Charles Dickens. I am often moved profoundly upon any reading of Dickens. I regard him as one of my favorite writers.
Later tonight I talked to several folks by the tele, which were going through various phases in their lives. I just want to say this to anyone who feels like the things you're investing in don't count. Give yourself some time. Don't be hasty. Don't rush yourself. Things will work out. I keep trying to remind myself that it's not trying to 'fit in', but about simply 'being who I need to be'. I dont know if I'm talking to anyone here. Nothing has to make sense. You can almost break your ribs on the way to the grovery store to try and make beef and broccoli since you couldn't go see Orlando Bloom on the big screen. It will all work out. You can be late for church and almost die. It's o.k. The main thing is that through all this chaos something neat is changing in us. It was funny too that I landed on my ribs since when I got home and started to finish THE RAMAYANA there is this place in there where God gives this monkey a bracelet, and the monkey tears it apart and says it has no value. And then God asks the monkey to show him what has value and the monkey rips open his flesh and there on everyone of his ribs is the name of God, repeated over and over. I guess for me that's the whole point. I don't need to worry about the soy sauce or whether I was late for church, or whether my body is free from pain. I don't need to worry about anything. I just need God.
Bill