Posted by quequel on March 02, 2003 at 15:01:50:
I would really appreciate all of your prayers for my father. His wife has moved out. My dad has certainly not always been a good husband. This is his 7th marriage. But this time, I thought he'd gotten it right. He found a wonderful woman after the years had made him a wonderful man. They love each other--I know he's in love like he's never been, and he has been the husband he never was before. His wife says she loves him, and I've seen it in the way she has been for him, by his side, caring for him, nearly hysterical when he went for his bypass a couple of years ago. She was always abused before him, from her childhood throughout her first marriage. With him, she's learned how to feel, and how to accept and ask for love, and he's tried to teach her how much God loves her. It's been 10 years, and each winter, she goes through a depression, and by January or so, she wants to change EVERYTHING...I go through that once in awhile, so I understand. But by spring, she starts to regroup and everything is great until the winter. This year, she moved out. She's 40, and Dad is 48 and not in good health. She feels like she's getting old before her time. She wants excitement in ways that he can't give, and she wants to stop being a caretaker. She's tired--between taking care of Dad and taking care of her 2 kids, she's a little overwhelmed.
But Dad doesn't want to do this again. He loves her like he's never loved. He doesn't want anyone else, and he feels old. He doesn't want to be alone, and he doesn't think anyone else would want him, and he doesn't want anyone else. He feels unattractive for the first time in his life, and the mental tapes of what every other woman has told him when they split up are replaying themselves. He feels worthless and hopeless. They went to a counselor Friday, and plan to go again soon. She is staying with a girlfriend who is in an unhappy marriage and who has been consistently unfaithful to her own husband, but who (of course) believes that she is helping my stepmom. I would appreciate your prayers. I think excitement is nice, and I can understand what it is to be young and full of energy and have a partner who doesn't share that, but I also believe that our "perfect match" is only ourselves, and some things you don't find in another person. I'd hate to see her lose such companionship and love in search of answers she can only find in herself.
Thanks.