Posted by Fiiiyer on March 17, 2003 at 10:26:09:
In Reply to: Dad posted by quequel on March 15, 2003 at 14:13:11:
: Thank you for all your prayers--don't stop now, please.
: Apparently, counseling is off. Michelle won't or can't open up. The counselor had them make lists of things they wanted to talk about, and she wrote one and then tore it up. Apparently, she has been unfaithful, and although after 7 marriages, infidelity is nothing surprising to my dad, she expects him to react the way she would, and says that they will never be the same. She says she can't live with herself, etc. Dad is a little exceptional--he understands forgiveness in ways that regular people don't. He understands that you weigh your options and find out what's really important. He wouldn't want it to happen again, but he knows that ultimately, they're going to have to live with it either together or apart, and he'd rather get through it together. He has an emotional grace that I can't grasp, even when I understand the logic in it. Of course, he spent years being a temperamental jackass before he finally became the good husband he has been to Michelle. He kinda thinks he's paying for those years now.
: We talked for a long time the other night, and one of the things we hit on is that he's in such pain simply because he still loves her. To cut his losses and move on would require that he get that edge of bitter "Screw her" attitude, and that would be dishonest, because he really doesn't feel that way. But that's part of surviving, I guess. I'm still praying. I love Michelle. She has a way of figuring out how people "really" feel, that is not correct but is consistently twisted into a cynical expectation based on a life of knowing unforgiveness and abuse.
: We appreciate your prayers.