Posted by quequel on March 18, 2003 at 22:17:07:
In Reply to: Why Parallel Universe? posted by giveawayboy on March 18, 2003 at 09:53:50:
Believe it or not, even while we were meeting in my livingroom, I kept going to my "Real" church, because I didn't think Steve was "Pastoral" enough--I expected some smiling grandfather figure. When we prayed about moving to Tampa with the church, I chose to let God choose. I'm sure glad He did. Steve is the most real pastor I've ever known, and I still preach his sermons to anyone who will listen. Especially the part about counting the cost--illustrated by the biting skunk. People let us down--so what? We knew that would happen, and we've already accepted that and forgiven in advance. Such freedom! It's cool how many people I've shared this with that haven't dealt with their own unforgiveness but expect it from others. God works.
The second time--I didn't write or talk to Steve, or anyone from church except for our Lakeland crowd, for the longest time after I slid. I hadn't met my own expectations, and didn't want to be the one everyone prayed for--in my head, I was supposed to be the benedictor or some crazy thing. Even while I was still preaching Steve's sermons, I couldn't face my own shame. Till Kluttz made me face myself. Thanks, Chieftain McKluttz, wherever you are. And when I came back, I actually felt really loved for myself, the unpierced, untattooed, unstylish, blues junkie. How bizarre. Thanks, PU.
It's crazy the false world we create for ourselves when we stand at a distance. We can make the monsters as big as we like and paint ourselves as aliens. But up close, that false world just doesn't jive with the love at hand.