Posted by giveawayboy on May 15, 2003 at 12:04:48:
I guess I'm torn between knowing that how we live our life matters, since God does create us w a certain dignity and purpose and also knowing that we can't hold onto everything too tightly and micromanage every part of our life and make the flow of life difficult for us and those around us. To not walk in our created dignity and purpose would be missing the mark. To obsess about keeping standards of holiness would also I think be missing the mark, since you are never abandoning, never trusting, just trying to maintain control. I'm trying to find the balance between those two extremes or maybe there isn't one. I was talking to God on my way to work today. I knew that God's nature was mysterious beyond comprehension and I knew I could not put such mystery into myself since I knew I could not contain it. Still, I was trying to ask God to reveal himself to me in a way that I could grasp, so that I could know w certainty some things about his nature. It was so sttrange. Then I was asking him to show me some things about holiness and sin, and I never get any concrete answers when I ask him this. Other than a few things like THOU SHALT NOT MURDER, there isn't much fine tuning in that department. This all goes back into how I relate to others, and usually, if the still small voice has an answer it usually is totally about that, relational stuff. This gets confusing. I know that God isn't trying to be vague w us, sometimes I imagine he is talking at normal volume, but we just can't conceive of his simple statements. I am trying to get less complex and still I want to figure this all out. And, I was talking to my parents about this the other day too, I mean, how to know that we are truly imitating God and living the way he wants us, but also, not thinking about it so much that it kills the very joy in our lives.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm a little lost boy in a dark, dark wood.