Posted by quequel on July 05, 2003 at 23:18:12:
Just wanted to share this with you. My uncle Mark (homeless alcoholic) is in jail again. Even he knows he's probably better off because he's sober. Sheesh. Anyway, I was cooking one Sunday, and thinking about Mark, who I haven't talked to since New Year's Eve when he kind of creeped me out. I've always loved him, but because of his situation, we haven't been in touch much over the past several years. All of a sudden, the things I had wanted to say to him finally came together in a way that could only be God. I sat down and wrote him this letter. I thought I'd share part of it with those of you who have the patience to read another long post from me.
"I’ve had something on my mind for awhile, and I haven’t really had a chance to say it. I don’t want you to think I’m preaching, I just want you to know what I’m thinking, because I think of you often.
When a woman conceives, she’s thinking “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop…YES!” The pitter-patter of little feet is NOT on her mind. When a couple adopts, the pitter-patter of little feet is all they’ve dreamed of for years. They’ve allowed total strangers to inspect every corner of their home, they’ve subjected themselves to hours of questions about the intimate details of their lives, they’ve waited and hoped and crossed their fingers and prayed and been frustrated, their faith dashed and rebuilt. When they see the little brown curl on a chubby forehead and the toothless fish-face of those little bowed lips, they would jump off Mount Everest if it would mean that they could see this little one grow up, if they could wake up 6 times a night for feedings and change the messy mustard diapers and sit up all night rocking him while he’s teething and take him to Sunday School and cry on that first day of school and put Calamine lotion on his chicken pox and hold their breath while they open his report cards and hang his stick figures on their fridge and see him off on his first date.
You were chosen. They even tested Dad, so they could find a baby who would do well in a home with him for a brother. You were the best, handpicked to be part of this family. And we love you. Yeah, you’ve made some crappy decisions—we all have. I wasn’t thinking about my family when I got pregnant—my mom was following some bad advice when she let Larry move back in with us, Dad wasn’t thinking about hurting everyone when he did cocaine. All of us have screwed up, and we live in a world where no one seems to learn from the mistakes of others, for thousands of years we’ve done the same stupid things over and over. But you’re part of a family where people get pissed off but still love you. Where people can’t fix all the things you do wrong, but they don’t stop speaking to you and they don’t stop bringing you clean clothes and they love you no matter how you hurt them.
We’re not perfect, but we’re learning from a great example. Before Grandma and Grandpa agonized in waiting for you, God put every detail of you together, knowing exactly what you would do, and loving you just the same. You’re an artwork, an expression of His best. Underneath all the world’s grime, an eternal glow inside you reflects His love. Psalm 139: 11-13 says “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You. For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Ephesians 1: 4-8 says, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” This means that He loved His creation with full understanding of all we would do, good and bad. He could easily have stopped making people, or just kept from making me and you, because He knew in advance all the crap we would do. But He also knew about our innermost souls. He put in us His essence, that part that shines through the layers of crust we’ve covered ourselves with. Ephesians 1:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” That glow, that fire inside of us was created to do His work, however small, however few people it touches. The world would be missing something really awesome if we weren’t here. Our family would be missing a blessing if you and I weren’t part of it. It might be a good idea to see what that part is, to grind through all the coal that surrounds our diamonds, but He is there to help us do that."