Posted by giveawayboy on October 08, 2003 at 22:17:38:
Midstream I feel the need to sort of grab onto a rock or something. Alot is going on in my life right now. I won't go into it all. PU is also changing. I won't go into it all here either. I just want to make some kind of statement about how I feel so you all know. I am very happy to have known many of you for over ten years, some as long as fifteen years. Some of you regrettably, I don't know as well as I'd like to. There is not way we can all get as close as we'd like. It's not even to be expected. I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has been a part of my life since the old Crossover/Refuge Ministry days. We have seen a lot of people pass through our 'little tribe' and many of them are still in touch, regardless of what churches they attend, or what beliefs they hold, or what geographic barriers may exist between us. I think that is important. Just the people we have known and still know. My life has been enriched by so many of you. To list names would be hard since I'd have no room to talk about my appreciation. I keep thinking about Bob the Alien for one. Wow! I would never have met him if it weren't for Jonvon. I'm still in touch with them both. I am so blessed. I can't see either of them as much as I'd like, but I know that both of them are there for me when I need a friend. I'm a real lucky guy. O.K. What was my point? Oh yeah, I just appreciate you all so much. I hope that we won't run through each others' fingers. I hope we'll work at holding on to each other as friends. Life changes us and we must sometimes say goodbye, but this does not mean it's over. It just means things will be different. I can say this now with so many of you who I never see anymore, but from time to time, we'll chat and we DO stay in touch. That's important. I will most likely have many problems with attending church on Sundays throughout the holiday season. Also, I'm in a financial hole like I've never been in my life. So, I can't say that I'll always be able to go and do like I used to. It's o.k. Just know that I am staying connected at least I am going to try. Thanks to alot of you I can still get rides to church on Sundays. Thanks. I want you to know that is a super ministry by the way. If it wasn't for Ryan a whole year of my life was enhanced by the study of Mark that Steve was doing. I wouldn't have heard any of that message if it wasn't for Ryan. Thanks to Nancy, I can go to an excellent class, one of the most fascinating and challenging of my whole life. If it wasn't for her, I'd still be in the dark about so many things. But now I know about several men who helped shaped the mind of modernity and also religious studies. Thanks to Steve, Kat and others I was able to be present many times when I could have just as easily been absent. I just want to say thanks. Also, I hope that all of us will go into the Advent season thinking about what we can all do to strengthen our own ties as friends and reach out to others, not merely to fill up a building, but to extend our community of friends. I realize that alot of us are married now, or soon to be, many of us are starting or already involved with careers, still others of us are geographically separated. I just hope that we won't give up on each other. I want to be realistic, but I keep holding out the hope for something more. I still feel like there is alot that our 'tribe' has to offer. I've never seen such a group exist for such a long period of time. I also have many dreams which include friends who I don't tend to see anywhere, but I know that they are somehow still joined to us. Think of some of them and try giving them a phone call. It could be the connection that they need. Oh yeah, I just wanted to say that in many ways, I'm tired. I've been pretty beat up recently in my life in ways I haven't mentioned. I'm hurt, I'm tired and I'm weary. O.K. So who isn't. I just wanted you all to know that if I seem to suck as a friend, just keep working with me. You'll find that I really WANT to, even though I might be tired or not know how to take the first steps. Regretably, there are some of you who I still don't know how to break the ice with. I guess I don't have to be everyone's best friend, but I'd like to at least know everyone on some level. It's hard though. Anyway, don't give up. I think perhaps there are some awesome things awaiting us, no matter how you define 'us'.
With love, Bill