Posted by kat on November 20, 2003 at 09:14:07:
In Reply to: mister bighead here.... posted by mister bighead on November 20, 2003 at 01:21:27:
: just wanted to say that it sucks trying to go jogging w the neighbors. their legs are so long and they can just casually run down the street. they don't know how exhausting it is with my little feet to run even 15 yards, not to mention trying to make those sharp turns at the end of the block. they seem to forget that they can just ease into a 90º turn. They don't realize I have to forcefully thrust my whole body around on the turns. It takes alot out of me. You'd understand especially if you saw how flat I was. i tried going sideways, but it really hurts your feet afterawhile, since they were made to walk forward. Also, when you round that corner at jogging speed, going sideways, you have to look inward, facing the corner or those little kids on those scooters will crash right into you and knock you into those darn newspaper boxes. also, i tend to get quite a headache when i bob my head from side to side too much. when your face is as large and flat as mine, well, your whole head actually, you tend to catch all the wind head on and this really slows you down. my head is not very aerodynamic. it's just that when i turn sideways, it slows down my running speed since i have to use my feet all wrong. so, life is hard.
I am trying to be sympathetic mister bighead, but i can't imagine what it's like for you because like the kids on the scooters I have a somewhat normal human body. I would like to offer you my shoulder to cry on when times get hard but I am afraid my shoulder is just not big enough for your large flat head! This is very upsetting and now I realize that even a simple hug, something that all of us take for granted, is a physical impossiblility for you. Your arms are way to far apart to put around me, and my arms are just not long enough to span your width. I do have hope that perhaps I could hug you sideways, that might work, as long as I am careful not to poke you in the eye or mouth or something. In the meantime condsider yourself virtually hugged.
Also, I am sure I can offer you a sympathetic ear or a pat on the back, er..of the head, or whatever.
Please consider this an offer of friendship!
-kat