Posted by quequel on January 14, 2003 at 14:51:07:
In Reply to: Relating to the 'Point of View' posted by jason on January 09, 2003 at 12:54:49:
: "...yeah, brother, I have to spend time with God every day. I feel Him in the room with me, and I can almost reach out and touch Him..."
: I remember one of my fellow church-goers telling me in the early days of my "Christian Walk." There were many at my church that would make similar claims, leaving me to examine my own pathetic state in quiet shame. Since them, I have had precious few "nearly tangible" experiences, and I wonder if those stories reflected the same types of experience.
I don't know if you were still at Living Word when this happened, but there was a special speaker one night, with his wife. They talked about hearing the voice of God and said they literally heard His voice. I went home that night, even though it was a work night, and stayed up until nearly 5am, because I wasn't going to bed until I heard His voice. Never did, though I eventually came to peace with that. Not that I believe any less that they did--it just seems that if God gives an experience to one of us, we figure everyone can and should get the same experience. I doubt that I've ever had the exact same experience with you, or with Bill or Steve or the Johns or Cari or Kat or Pam or Raoul that someone else has had. Funny that we expect it to be different with God.
: I wonder if I would prefer my godometer to go off whenever He gets involved in my life. Whenever he stops the bullets or parts the Red Sea, I would like to acknowledge that. My life would be so much clearer -- I would know exactly how things settle, and it would be easier to make decisions. It would even be easier to make mistakes. If I chose door number 1 and the godometer was still, it would be a simple matter to just step back and open door number 2... and on and on until the meter when off again...
I WANT ONE! WHERE DO I GET ONE! WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE YET? I feel like so many of the decisions I make, even after praying prolifically, are DEAD WRONG. I'm starting to think that maybe they're just decisions that lead me into really difficult lessons, but that difficulty doesn't make them wrong. It's possible that the only reason I'd do these things is because God leads me to them--I certainly wouldn't choose this type of schooling on my own.
: The reason I was concerned about my early Christian "deficiencies" was because I wanted an intimate relationship with my Maker. The reason I think through things to the infinitesimal essence is because I want to know Truth. I question myself because I want no enmity to exist between us. I seek perfection, because He is Perfection perfected -- by the same token, I seek forgiveness, because He is Love. This is worship - acknowledging God for who He is. Whether we are conscious of it or not we worship him by living our lives according to the desires which He has instilled in us AND by availing our desires to be molded.
I think that's wonderful. Thanks, Jason, for inspiring me today.