Re: VERY IMPORTANT--READ AT ONCE!!!

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: : : I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's : : (sent to me because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, : : celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals) when : : I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering : : from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken - : : which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual : : chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made : : them change their name to KFC. Anyway, one day this friend went to : : sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice : : and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized : : that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said : : "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected : : to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would : : destroy his hard drive and infect all the electronics in his house if : : he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax : : because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on : : software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get : : together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under : : the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a : : mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free : : Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to : : everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone : : to report his Missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him : : to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the : : phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return : : slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped : : around a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was : : only a few blocks from the hospital - the one where that little boy : : who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in : : the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has : : agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two : : e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an : : angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will : : have good luck but for 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you : : send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN : : YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, : : but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To : : be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part : : of a gang initiation. : : Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will : : receive 4 green m&ms, but if you don't the owner of Proctor and Gamble : : will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad : : luck: you will get cancer from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your : : shampoo, your wife will develop breast cancer from using the : : antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. : : government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. : : I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet. : Two things: Unless you're at a Bible translation site, don't believe everything you read on the internet. Second, never do drugs named after parts of the Human anatomy.

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