Posted by John on April 03, 2001 at 16:39:23:
In Reply to: Re: More Steam (Part II) posted by jason on April 03, 2001 at 13:50:33:
"living sacrifice" and as Paul said, if you are dead, then you are dead to sin. Now I'm not just talking about sin as "wrong-doing" -- I'm referring to "missing the mark." So in your situation, and remember this is just my opinion, I would look at it and think that the reason that I was silent, is because the timing was not right. After reflecting on the situation, however, the next time the timing could be right. For example, perhaps next time when confronted with a similar set of circumstances, the thought might pop up that, "Hey, I'm allowing my motive 'fear of sounding judegemental' supercede my motive 'I love this person.'" This is growth.
The sacrifice thing has been big with me lately. More so than just in an abstract sense of my entire life, but also in a real sense when I have to willfully offer up something in my life that I desired, but God isn't allowing, or that needs to be purged as a sacrifice. It really helps me to get past things and see my life in perspective.
Anyway, perhaps you are right on the timing thing. I believe that there is a strange mystical connection between our free choices and God's plan effecting itself in our lives, so in that sense I am right where he wants me, but i think that I still should have said something then, again not because of the action, but because of the speech to justify. See it was in that that the action crossed from a mere sin, whether willful or out of fall to temptation, into an elaborate self-decpetion, or rather it revealed itself as such, and a severe misconception about God to the point of not being the God that we know. It was at this point that I felt the churning in my gut that I should have spoke out and corrected this, both out of love for my God, love for my brother, and love for those who didn't know God in the area and were being influenced by this speech. Once more, I would not have reacted this way if it weren't for the fact that this person is an outspoken Christian and in all reality serves as a beacon to both family and friends. Now I know that God can defend himself and does not need my help, but for someone to have such a vast misconception about something that is so fundamentally easy to discern REALLY bothers me...for that person. I am confronted with many questions: Am I the one who has the misconception? Am I listening to my fundamentalist upbringing? Is this the doctrine we have been preaching and I haven't noticed it? Is this a natural ASSUMPTION by those who have been listening to our preaching? Do others I previously assumed believed like I do actually not share my belief?
Many of these have been answered recently, some favorably and some disappointingly not.
: -- Make sure that before you stand up, you are sure in what you believe. (Please tell me if this makes sense...)
This is a reason why I didn't speak, I began to doubt myself, mainly because I respected this person so much. But my heart was speaking to me and it has been confirmed since then by several others, so I am certain, you would be too I wager if you were in this place.
: "...I appeared to be accepting of what i know to be wrong"
: -- Are you positive that your silence was the wrong choice???
Yes I am. My relationship with this person is built on uncompromising honesty. This isn't for everyone, but we have grown close on our ability to cut each other to the quick when necessary. Both of us agree, or at least we did, that it would be better to loose the limb than to use it to sin further. So in this my silence was a violation of a trust. Further, there were others who were very vulnerable to this speech, some because they need God, some because they are struggling, and while my silence may not have affected everyone (some were not present for the speech) allowing this person to continue in the beleif that it was alright did weigh on the others later, I could see it. So in this I was wrong. Then I think of those who may have been looking to me in this situation. One never knows when someone holds them in esteem. I remember once when I cursed someone out in front of another who had never heard that from me. The look of disappointment was devastating to me. Not because I was on a pedastal or anything, but the person told me they thought I was different, I gave them hope that there was something different to attain to. I realize this is an impossible standard to attain, but frankly i can be satisfied with nothing less. I am not one of those people who needs the continual forgiveness of God reminded to me, as many know. I am certain of his forgiveness and that is the very reason i beat myself into submission...my love and devotion to my God motivates me to strive with all my might for nothing but perfection precisely because I have been forgiven so much. Again i don't hold others to this standard, but that is why it appears that I am so hard on myself.
: "I do think that one reason I didn't say anything was that I wasn't quite sure what to say. The situation was such that I was completely unprepared to deal with it..."
: -- This was an extremely honest statement.
And a testament to the value of always being ready to give an account for the faith that is in us.
You know the thought has crossed my mind that this entire incident may have been a fluke really, generated out of circumstances that may have been affecting the subject. I say this based on how out of character it was for the person. Still this begs, do I know this person as well as I had thought? But I am careful not to use this as a loophole to avoid my dealing with the issue. Perhaps I will have to speak to it in the future, but now that the inital moment has passed timing is all the more important. See while you recognize the advantage to waiting, there is also an advantage to quick response. now I must avoid seeming as though i have festered on this and brewed it out of proportion, which will be a defense if my words are ill-recieved. Also i must answer to why i didn't say something then. While not quite a statute of limitations, after an incident has cooled it looses all relevance. The advantage to immediate response is that the person doesn't have the opportunity to use these excuses. Their self-deception is weakest when caught off guard, making it easiest to break through.
Either way, I don't think any less of anyone and I am certain that no matter my response God will still work his good will in the situation, but I want to make certain that I am right in my thinking, that i have learned what i should and that I miss no opportunity to respond to God's leading, as I desire to be an effective servant. (Forgive my metaphoric speech, it is how I think.)