Posted by jeannie on July 01, 2002 at 07:16:23:
whew! i labored and labored whether or not i should post this or not, especially since i don't know most of you very well. i know this is a little brutal and i wish it could be sweeter, but it's something i feel i should share with "someone". ok, here goes........
get well wish
for all my loved ones
19 june, 2002
listening to your self-inflicted problems bores me
listening to your silly whining bores me
listening to your pathetic rage bores me
listening to your flimsy excuses bores me
listening to your manipulation bores me
listening to your perpetual bickering bores me
listening to you play dumb when we both know better bores me
listening to your continual lying bores me
listening to your broken record bores me
oh, but please tell me what you’re going through this time
just think about it
it was you who wanted me to be the mommy in the first place
with you the self-appointed child
in this silly game you want me to play with you
with its ever-changing rules
your game of chaos and confusion
with you racing to whatever suits you at the moment
wearing yourself out
when i’m going for the finish line
a game you can’t win
even though you didn’t think of that
you’re swinging while my hand is on your forehead
you’ll only lose again
just think about it
i see you want to suck your thumb some more
i see you want me to wipe your nose again
you want your diaper changed again
i see you don’t want to do things for yourself
but you’re a big boy now
you’re a big girl now
get over yourself golden child
you’re only important in your own mind
you’re really insignificant, just like me
everything’s not about you
i know you’re sucking your bottle as long as you can
but weaning is good
i know you’re scared
just think about it
how long till you wake up?
open your eyes dear
open your ears dear
stretch your mind dear
time to get up dear
time to be a grown-up
just think about it
maybe you’ll change your mind
In my experience, addiction takes many forms, some pretty obvious and usually socially unacceptable, some more socially acceptable and not so obvious. It doesn’t matter much to me what the particular addiction is...the same resulting behavior in the unfortunate people who choose them and a giant pain in the behind for those around them. If you find the word “addiction” too offensive, by all means choose another word, dear.
In my experience, conflict is addiction’s food supply...forever collecting a little gang of bullies, looking for the next victim to gang up on. Ever heard it said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results?
In my experience, the first similarity with all addicts is fear. Selfishness, of course, is caused by the fear, then self-delusion (aka living in your own fantasy world) usually follows. Before you start chiming out examples of how someone else’s life is so much easier or better in comparison to yours, I would caution you first, there are probably things you don’t know about that person. Besides, there’s still time for them to suffer and it’s not up to you to choose how, where or when they do. Rest assured, though, everyone has suffered or will.
If after thinking about this you think there’s a possibility an addiction has too much control of your life, try taking a look at it for what it really is. Better yet, try thinking about how your behavior affects other people. If you’re still too 101 to think about somebody else, then go back to step 1: think about yourself again. Then take a humble pill. How do you want to be remembered? How do you want to be thought of while you’re here? Maybe you’ll choose to wallow in it some more, maybe you’ll choose to let it die. My hope is it’s a good death!!