Re: some thoughts

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: Good God where have you been for so long! I absolutely love your voice in this post. And it is something that bears being repeated over and over again. In this victim culture that we live in people far too easily look for what's wrong with them and then sit on it forever. We become addicted to being screwed up and it is just too much to think we may be healed even though we say we want it. Too much we focus on the bad and the low instead of viewing things from another perspective. The perspective that it doesn't matter what our state is. God has accepted us by Grace and promised to make things right. Rather than waiting for this to happen in our own perception we should get up and ask what we can do for Him. In those actions we often find that we are healed without ever noticing it. : I know as one who has been in this state that sometimes we need people to shake us up and then not abandon us. We need people to scream at us and call us what we are and then prove that it is in love by not rejecting us. Too much coddling tends to perpetuate the problem and breed sympathy seekers. Sure there is a time for it. But then we need to get up and go, regardless of how shamed we feel, regardless of how small, how dirty, how pained. This action of going on, the mere action is a firm declaration as Steve says, "that the Blood of Jesus is a good enough reason for me to be saved!" I also know that we must take our eyes off of ourselves and physical action is often the best way. Cut someone's grass, wash their car, volunteer at a homeless shelter. Take a long walk, run , swim. Anything like this will allow your body to secrete different chemicals and lighten the cloud you feel... that is unless the cloud is where you feel safest and then no manner of help will reach you. : So Jeannie, know that you are in good company and I greatly appreciate your brutal post! : : whew! i labored and labored whether or not i should post this or not, especially since i don't know most of you very well. i know this is a little brutal and i wish it could be sweeter, but it's something i feel i should share with "someone". ok, here goes........ : : : : get well wish : : for all my loved ones : : 19 june, 2002 : : : : listening to your self-inflicted problems bores me : : listening to your silly whining bores me : : listening to your pathetic rage bores me : : listening to your flimsy excuses bores me : : listening to your manipulation bores me : : listening to your perpetual bickering bores me : : listening to you play dumb when we both know better bores me : : listening to your continual lying bores me : : listening to your broken record bores me : : oh, but please tell me what you’re going through this time : : just think about it : : it was you who wanted me to be the mommy in the first place : : with you the self-appointed child : : in this silly game you want me to play with you : : with its ever-changing rules : : your game of chaos and confusion : : with you racing to whatever suits you at the moment : : wearing yourself out : : when i’m going for the finish line : : a game you can’t win : : even though you didn’t think of that : : you’re swinging while my hand is on your forehead : : you’ll only lose again : : just think about it : : i see you want to suck your thumb some more : : i see you want me to wipe your nose again : : you want your diaper changed again : : i see you don’t want to do things for yourself : : but you’re a big boy now : : you’re a big girl now : : get over yourself golden child : : you’re only important in your own mind : : you’re really insignificant, just like me : : everything’s not about you : : i know you’re sucking your bottle as long as you can : : but weaning is good : : i know you’re scared : : just think about it : : how long till you wake up? : : open your eyes dear : : open your ears dear : : stretch your mind dear : : time to get up dear : : time to be a grown-up : : just think about it : : maybe you’ll change your mind : : : : In my experience, addiction takes many forms, some pretty obvious and usually socially unacceptable, some more socially acceptable and not so obvious. It doesn’t matter much to me what the particular addiction is...the same resulting behavior in the unfortunate people who choose them and a giant pain in the behind for those around them. If you find the word “addiction” too offensive, by all means choose another word, dear. : : In my experience, conflict is addiction’s food supply...forever collecting a little gang of bullies, looking for the next victim to gang up on. Ever heard it said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results? : : : : In my experience, the first similarity with all addicts is fear. Selfishness, of course, is caused by the fear, then self-delusion (aka living in your own fantasy world) usually follows. Before you start chiming out examples of how someone else’s life is so much easier or better in comparison to yours, I would caution you first, there are probably things you don’t know about that person. Besides, there’s still time for them to suffer and it’s not up to you to choose how, where or when they do. Rest assured, though, everyone has suffered or will. : : : : If after thinking about this you think there’s a possibility an addiction has too much control of your life, try taking a look at it for what it really is. Better yet, try thinking about how your behavior affects other people. If you’re still too 101 to think about somebody else, then go back to step 1: think about yourself again. Then take a humble pill. How do you want to be remembered? How do you want to be thought of while you’re here? Maybe you’ll choose to wallow in it some more, maybe you’ll choose to let it die. My hope is it’s a good death!!

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