Bill's Manly Car Rebuttal

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: : : Steve's a pastor guy or so they say : : : he talks a lot and he likes to pray : : : he wears a headband just like a girl : : : but it works to hold back his little curl : : : : Do I respond (I'm really torn) : : to Kristi's poem, replete with corn? : : Girls with curls you do compare : : to me, a man, with manly hair! : : Little girls wear frills and laces : : But don't grow hair upon their faces! : : I am a man (just ask my wife) : : I live a manly, macho life : : My hips aren't wide, my butt is straight : : No need to lift and separate : : I don't need soft and supple flesh : : and never feel, you know, not fresh : : I don't put paint around my eyes : : so I can bat my lids at guys : : I don't need tons of cutesy stuff : : I don't go shop when things get tough : : I know the spark comes from the coil : : I understand my car needs oil : : I give directions as is best: : : I say, "Turn north, turn east, turn west!" : : I don't get wild and crazy notions : : I have a grip on my emotions : : In all these ways and many more : : it's clear--I'm manly to the core! : : ****************** : I am a man and have no doubts : I have a way to point that out : But I will wait to demonstrate : Until it is appropriate : (Did someone here say procreate?) : However Steve, Oh Manly Twin : Predicaments you put me in : Although my masculinity : Has never been unknown to me : I travel wide and travel far : To understand an average car : I take my key and stick it in : And then she sings and starts to spin : And when I slip into her seat : She takes me down most any street : But if I try to understand : And under her hood place unskilled hands : A brutal reminder do I receive : This is a world I can't conceive : So if this knowledge is requisite : I'm afraid that I've not mastered it : I know which way the sun comes up : And I know how to fill my cup : I can chop a log and mow the lawn : And walk 'round naked like a faun : And grow my beard and start to smell : And laugh 'til all my stomachs swell : And be a Dude : And get a Dell : But cars and me don't get on well : So my one protest hear you must : Let no misunderstanding thrust : Apart compadres ever close : Because a man of cars could boast : lovingly, w bollocks, Bill

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