Posted by Bob - the Alien on November 16, 2002 at 18:06:25:
In Reply to: O.K. I think I know how I feel now. But, before you read this, tell yourself: I'm going to LISTEN and not just respond without THINKING. Thanks. Bill posted by giveawayboy on November 16, 2002 at 16:53:42:
Heya Bill...
As you said, you were not complaining, and I am not responding with anything other than my reaction. It may sound like more, but its really not.
What is really going on here? Why is this topic being held up as a primary criteria for your personal satifaction in personal relationships? I know that this topic is very important to you...it always has been for all the time i have known you. But when did a mutual interest in it become a requirement for maintaining a satisfactory relationship?
Bill, I may be wrong here, but I think that you have this feeling that people sometimes ignore you, or don't take you seriously. I think that this feeling is nowhere near justified. You are heard on this board, and in your life, more than most people I know. But I think that your reactions to this feeling are what is really driving your thoughts right now.
On your main point of stopping to hear what people have to offer, I think that this happens, and people do learn from each other. But when someone stops to hear you, you should not expect a fanfare. You may not even notice. People have strong effects on others lives every day. And most of the time, they don't notice.
Bill, just look at Scott and I. You have told us both that we had an impact on your life. Both of us had the same reaction -- "Why? We were just being ourselves?"
This is how it normally happens in life. We are aware of the wonderful things that everyone has to share, but the things that we learn from others is not necessarily the things that they are wanting to teach us. Having expectations that people will learn from you the exact things you want to teach them is probably wrong, and will ultimately lead you to frustrations such as you are expressing. With a few obvious exceptions, we are not teachers. And we are certainly not all registered to take classes from each other to learn about each other's interests. We should not expect our friends to listen to our interests as if we are.
Bill, this all boils down to one issue for me. Can you be accepting of people who don't share your interests, and maybe even don't care about some things that are important to you? Can you accept that we are still listening, and we still care, even if this is true?
With Love,
Bob
BTW, In no way should this message imply that I do not share an interest in other countries and places. I do share that interest, but it is not as high on my list as yours.
BTW #2, I normally put postscript notes on message with the heading of "P.S.", but on this bouard, it might look like a personal not to Steve, and not just a general note. :)