Posted by Mister Metal on February 08, 2003 at 13:05:38:
In Reply to: friendship....yeah posted by giveawayboy on February 08, 2003 at 12:57:35:
:
: : i guess since my experience with "friends" is not so pleasant i aint one to believe this..when i have had the hardest moments..few is any where there...so i mean..granted it seems like the ideal image or concept of friendship..not all are fortunate enough to have that luxury..thats how i see it..
: : you would just have to be in my position to grasp my viewpoint..thats great that you and others grasp the concept of friends far much more than i do..i am just at a different place at this moment..and have been for a while..trying to grasp that concept and it never has worked out in my head or even on paper..so yeah..
: : obviously everyone's situation is different and unique..
: : at this time...to me..friend is a dollar in my pocket..until proven otherwise..
:
: yeah, Raul, we are all at different places. I wanted to mention that I had to find the meaning of friendship in myself as I could never distill it from others. It took a long time. I needed to see what a friend was by learning how to be one, which is neat, since I see you in that same position now--I think you realize this--by helping me and others, by listening to us, even when we are not always there for you. so you see, you are learning how to BE the friend to others. once you master that you won't be looking for it from others. still, you will always need a friend who will reach out to you too. i know it's hard when they just aren't there. but still, we have to find these things in ourselves first. to me finding friendship in myself means finding myself in god. i won't get all spiritual here though.
: later, Bill
oh i hear ya bill...its just that for the longest time i said to myself..hey screw what raul wants its not about me..i dont live for me..and i still grasp that to an extent but to deny the fact that i have needs and those needs arent being taken care of and i am dying inside is absurd and i just wont do it..
i have needs..you have needs...hey we all have needs..i need for my needs to be ministered to..as you do..my needs may be different than yours are..that doesnt make me better than you or vise versa..but to stand here and constantly deny myself and just not worry about me and look to the needs of others can only be done for so long..after a while one needs their needs to be met too...
so i just had to reiterate that..and yes its very disillusionizing and disheartening when one is in need and those who should be there are for some reason or another just arent..whether intentionally or not..whose to say..its just the painful fact that they are not there..and perhaps never will be..
its just something that is hard for me to digest at this time..
signed Raulito the skeptic