Posted by PD on January 15, 2003 at 14:17:28:
Don't blame me; Dave Mead sent them to me.
1. A backward poet writes inverse.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
9. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
15. What's the definition of a will? (It' s a dead giveaway.)
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
18. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
20. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
21. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
22. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.
23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
25. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
26. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
27. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
28. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
29. Every calendar's days are numbered.
30. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
31. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
32. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
33. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
34. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a medium at large.
35. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
36. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
37. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
38. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
39. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
40. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
41. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
42. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
43. The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.