Posted by A Hurting Sunny on July 06, 2000 at 14:44:33:
In Reply to: Re: learning posted by Jennifer on July 06, 2000 at 14:17:55:
: : : There once was a boy
: : : Who sent me roses
: : : And cooked for me.
: : : And I thought this was love.
: : : But the food has long since been eaten,
: : : The roses gone,
: : : And so is the boy who said he wouldn't forsake me.
: : : Yet I have found true Love
: : : In my Lord Saviour.
: : : Far more nourishing than food,
: : : More exquisite than roses.
: : : And I know now what it's like
: : : To not be Forsaken.
: : ------------
: : I teared up when I read this. I feel like I know exactly how feel or maybe felt before you found your strength.
: : Except that I can't seem to totally give it to God. I don't know how to stop holding on to the hurt, almost like it is some last present
: : and I know its stupid.
: : Will you talk to me about how you were able to do it? To let God have it and become free?
: ~~I'm not free yet, Sunny....It's things like this that are therapy for me. I'm still learning how to cope with struggles and to give them up to God--It is an every day process.
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Thank you. I just feel like I'm defective in some way because sometimes
I feel like screaming at God "make it stop make it stop" and then I feel
ashamed of myself for thinking that way. I guess I'm just admitting I feel weak.
Do you know at all what I mean? It seems as if I based so much of my future
on one thing and all the sudden God lets me know He has other plans. I know
my response to this SHOULD be "if that is your will, Father, I will comply"
I am just having such a hard time with it.
I also wanted to tell you thanks for responding. I know we got off on a really
weird start the other day and I'm REALLY sorry I remind you of a painful time or
person or whatever it was. I wasn't sure if I should just never try to talk to
you again so I didn't make you feel uncomfortable or what. But then I read your poem.