Posted by jason on April 02, 2001 at 13:38:10:
Greetings,
Now to return to my rant. There is actually a reason why I didn't discuss the female in my earlier story. I think the girl's name that I used earlier was Samantha. So anyway, Samantha annoyed me a couple weeks ago, but really got to me this past weekend. I took John's and Steve's respective replies to heart and decided not to spend time with Lester, but I ended up in a situation with Samantha. Several of us got together after work (Samantha included), and we found ourselves going over the week's events, issues, etc. Samantha was drinking. I had made definitive plans that this week I was going to make it a point to do some band stuff, so I wasn't spending the whole night hangin' with the work crew. I split at about 9:30 - giving me enough time to go home, shower, get my materials together, dress, and make it downtown by 10:30. I took care of my stuff, happened to bump into some friends in another band, and finally made it home by 3 am. My phone rang at 3:01 and it was Eddy, Samantha's boyfriend. He asked if I knew where she was. I hadn't seen her since I left at 9:30. Eddy was distraught, so I made all the phone calls - sheriff's office, police dept., hospitals... standard stuff, but to no avail. I called Eddy as I got into my car to trace the route from the place I had last seen her to where she lives. Five minutes after we hung up, he called back to say that she had crashed at a friend's pad. I was relieved that she was ok... he was a bit "peeved." The next morning -- er -- afternoon, Samantha called to apologize -- not for her actions, but for her boyfriend's. Apparently, she had tried to call him, but wasn't able to reach him, although she didn't leave a message, etc.
I have been noticing quite a bit lately that she isn't the most dedicated employee. She seems a bit on the lazy side -- of course, I am probably more guilty of this than her (which makes me a bit more sensitive to it perhaps). Anyway, I see some severe instances of a lack of professionalism. I have spent time with Samantha and her boyfriend, and I like her a bit (perhaps a little higher than acquaintance, a little less than good friend), and Eddy a bit more (good friend). I feel torn about how to deal with her in regards to making myself available to her in a "Christian" sense. I mean, is it not hypocritical to judge someone in this sense, and still be concerned with the state of her life? I wish Samantha would commit herself to something, but she just seems to be a floater. I think she has a beautiful spirit, and there are moments when I really connect with her (in the beautiful spirit sense -- not at all physically). Granted, these moments are few and far between, nevertheless...
So, I'm not so much concerned about my hypocrisy (if hypocrisy is actually happening -- I must admit that it is hard for me to see in myself, perhaps defining the nature of hypocrisy) as I am about the condition of her life. She seems happy, but I know she isn't. She is on a path destined for disappointment because she isn't building any foundations, save for a solid ability for escapism. I also see Eddy as a victim of this, because he doesn't seem to see it. Again, I have to point the finger at myself, because I am quite familiar with escape... but that's a whole different discussion.
I don't think there is anything directly that I can do. I thought about speaking with Eddy, but I don't feel that it is my place. I have spoken to Samantha a bit about the night (there are many other things that have happened, but this is my "starting point"), but she looks at it as a big joke. My main point is that although Eddy might have been overreacting, it is a sign of how he really feels about her -- I just can't bring myself to tell Samantha, though, because I am truly afraid that she will use the information to take advantage of the situation.
I'm not sure if I painted a clear picture of my request (if there even is one). I guess my subject line is truer than I planned... just a little venting session...
Thanks kids!
Jason