Posted by Bob - the Alien on August 21, 2002 at 23:03:05:
In Reply to: honesty..the sting of being real posted by Mister Metal on August 21, 2002 at 00:12:33:
: i just realized that very few people can handle when one is real..honestly i dont get that..its almost like people want to not hear the truth all the time..well its somethin i have observed in my zeal to be expressive of how i feel at everytime..this has made people at times just not knowin what to say..and kinda intimidated..i just wish that people would see honesty for what it is..just take it for face value..instead of thinkin its a foreign thing..when really we should all be honest to one another..now i am not tryin to say i am all that..just think that this is a nice concept...i just wish that some people would learn to take me being honest to them as that..and not rack their brains with it..just take it for face value and say..hey he is real..rather then get all uncomfortable..i think that some people are afraid to be real...
: why is this?? somebody help explain as i never have..and who knows probly never will grasp this "fake is better notion" mentality of the masses...
Have you ever known someone so well that you know them better than they know themselves? Most people are not totally honest with themselves because of some defense mechanisms built up through their life. When you know them well enough to see through that, you never want to be that honest. You don't want to push someone to a place they are not ready to go. You have to accept their own dishonesty in their self because it is necesary for their own well-being.
If you are pushing people beyond their comfort level, of course they will not be accepting of it. While you are correct that falsehoods are not appropriate in all scenarios, when you get deep into someone's psyche, you have to accept that person both for who they are, and for who they think they are, even if there is some dishonesty in the mix.
The bottom line is that total honesty is a good thing if you are not hurting anyone by it. If you are hurting someone, it still may be right, but you need to question it a bit. There is no black and white answer to this question.