Posted by jonvon on June 04, 2002 at 12:17:53:
In Reply to: Re: weary and dumb..... posted by john on June 04, 2002 at 06:17:40:
its all good...
bill's post (to some degree) and your post (to a greater degree) reminded me of the poem i read last sunday, written in atlanta several years back. more than that, reminded me of the state i was in when i read it. also reminds me of what i wrote when Win died. i'll have to dig that up, no idea right now where it is...
that whole idea about dissolution of self. and being confronted with certain realities. and sitting or walking along in the dark, in the silence, thinking about these things, and something changing as i look at it all through that strange looking glass that is art...
man, sometimes i have wished so hard to become nothing. i said it the way i wanted to in "low table". to become a wide, dry wind. dissipated over a wide wide desert. cleaned by the harsh sun, one with the wind, one with that cleansing agent, one with that divine breath, hovering over a thing that is largely lifeless. i don't know how to say it other than in poetic terms. i want to disappear. or i have at times. when i think about it, my mind goes back to that vision. the sand is a golden light brown, burning in the sun, which blazes in the sky behind me. i am a wind hovering over the desert like a hawk hanging with wings outstretched floating on the heat. all my consciousness is swallowed up in Being That Wind, there is nothing left except pure movement which proceeds from nothing and which flees after nothing. i have become nothing except the breath of the world. its like, its the only thing i can imagine, the only existance i can imagine, where i really have peace.
: Bill keeps orbiting closer and closer to a complete dissolution of self... at least it seems to me. Whether this is good or bad depends on your perspective.