Posted by PSteven on April 16, 2001 at 08:52:55:
In Reply to: tired eyes, slowly burning posted by Jennifer on April 15, 2001 at 07:16:19:
: But I thought that with my Christian family there was supposed to be grace...yet I feel more like a pariah [someone's gotta laugh at that] around my brothers and sisters in Christ than I do with my non-Christian friends. No matter how screwed up we are, aren't we first to find love and acceptance with Christ, and then through the Church--that is, our Christian family?
Yes indeed. And if you don't feel love, acceptance, and grace, that is your perception, based on your difficulty accepting yourself at this time. Now pardon me if I am to the point, but self-pity is a miserable comforter. You may get some temporary satisfaction by pretending that we all rejected you, but you know that is not the case. You choose whether you will accept our love now, or whether you will leave and judge us to be responsible for your own feelings of rejection. In truth, you would really be judging yourself unworthy of our love, and then blaming us for that. But we have not rejected you.
With your non-Christian friends you don't feel that urgent prompting to accept or deny God's grace in your life; the sweet aura of life from the dead does not surround them. The hill of the skull seems far distant; perhaps the eyes of the dying man there will not be close enough to penetrate your soul and touch the tender wounds. Such miserable comfort! Trying to avoid God's grace is as worthwhile as forgetting you have a potentially deadly disease so as not to have to endure the treatments to get well.
: But I've come as far as I can in this place, and now I am done.
Not a chance; not even close. I am truly sorry if you decide that you are done here. It is your choice. But if you make the wrong one, please don't blame the church for it. We love you and remain your friends and want you to be a part of our family. (Please read last sentence 597 times before reading further.)
Now please don't dull the gloss of truth with verbage about your private relationship that's screwed up; that is no indication of the grace and acceptance available to you. To connect the two is like blaming God for a deficiency in his grace, and claiming it to be responsible for the messes we make of our lives. Healing can't occur while we attach blame -- not to God or the church or anyone else, including ourselves. Blame is no longer relevant. Only blood is relevant. Blood was spilled and flesh was torn and a man died. And then that man rose as God victorious. And that has to be a good enough reason for you to make your death with him, and rise with him -- a new creation, dearly beloved, and unblameable.
We die daily. We rise daily. Christ is in us, the hope of glory.